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Wael Alhathal Dustin Hopkins English A100 13 Dec 2012 What kind of Facebook-er are you? Living in the 21st century, Facebook or myspace has pretty much taking over our society. We have reached a point exactly where we believe that if you do not have a Facebook, then you do not have a your life. About a huge selection of people sign up for Facebook every single day, making it one of the visited websites in the world, with about 585 million lively members.

585 million!

You could think that this is too much, but in fact, there are four primary categories of Facebook users inside the world””annoying-Facebook-girl,  the “Simon-Cowell,  the “attention-seeking-whore,  and the “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook.  Every user during these categories specializes in a particular technique of participating upon Facebook: a way of updating their particular statuses, how they comment, just how many photos they upload every day, and how often they will spend their very own time in Facebook. If you have an “annoying-Facebook-girl on your close friends list, disconnect your account right now!

The main feature of the “annoying-Facebook-girl,  aside from being just plain obnoxious, is a gift to update her status every few hours with crap no one really cares about. Her identity will inflate on your information feed quickly and effortlesly. The most common phrases used in all their statuses will be “OMG!  or “OH EM GEE!  They have a tendency to publish not just a solitary photo, nevertheless albums of crappy images in a day. A normal “annoying-facebook-girl might upload a great album with 200 or more pictures entitled “Mcdonaldz wd my Bff’z&lt, 333 or perhaps “OMG!

PArtaAayYy.  They can be creatures with wild imaginations, they can switch an ordinary bathroom into a photo-shoot studio, their relationship statuses are “married or “engaged to their best friends, and they most share a mutual infatuation with Mr. bieber, Twilight, as well as the boys from One Direction. These kinds of creatures alter their profile pictures some other day, their famous photo pose is definitely the repulsive “Duck face”they adhere their lips out and take a photo next to a mirror, if possible the bathroom looking glass.

An “annoying-Facebook-girl’s favorite quotation is YOLO”You Only Live Once, which provides them an excuse to do illogical and silly stuff considering they won’t end up being judged. The 2nd category of Facebook users would be the “Simon-Cowell’s,  also known as the “Critics.  They are the trolls of the Net. The “Simon-Cowell’s are tough and judgmental criticizers, that they always have anything negative to state and can by no means shut on earth up. They claim that Facebook or myspace is a society and they need to share their thoughts and opinions no matter what.

The “Simon-Cowell’s are definitely the “annoying-Facebook-girl’s most severe enemy. The “Simon-Cowell’s usually criticize the “annoying-Facebook-girl’s status updates, photographs, and life-style. The people in this category believe in flexibility of conversation more than anything else, their most famous return is “If you don’t like my opinion then simply just unfriend me. Solutions you have a “Simon-Cowell with your friends list when he or perhaps she feedback in the early seconds after you update a standing or publish a picture using a sarcastic review or tough statement.

All their main aim on Facebook is to demean people, kill them, and attack these people. In reality, a “Simon-Cowell is a coward in back of a keyboard. His lifelessness contributes to his hatred to people, they may have no good friends and most probably live in all their parent’s cellar. A “Simon-Cowell is a great insecure man or woman who feels good about the man or their self when they criticize others”they have got nothing great to say. The very best technique to prevent these trolls is to quit arguing with them and delete all their cruel remarks because they will feed off of the anger more.

The third category, which is developing rapidly currently, is the “attention-seeking-whore.  These are the people who would do anything to get attention. Most of them are sick of their actual lives, consequently , they become a member of Facebook to find fake reputation on the Internet and seek the attention that is not provided for all of them in reality, mainly because they are “fugly:  banging ugly. The most frequent act of an “attention-seeking-whore is definitely uploading a photo of their self either demonstrating parts of her boobs or posing for the booty-pop-picture”bending their very own knees and popping their butts subsequent to a reflect.

Her key objective in Facebook is to gain as many likes and get as much positive opinions as possible, consequently , they caption their photos as “Like if you think I’m hot or “comment if you wanna beat me. An “attention-seeking-whore would never post anything on someones wall, or reply to anyone’s comments nor inboxes¦ playing hard to get that is. They spent most in case their time about Facebook looking at how a large number of likes they will got and reading the comments left by simply perverts, using a frown prove miserable-fake-multicolored confronts. The last category is commonly well-known among fellas, which is the “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook. No one knows the reason why these people have an account in the first place. In this category, the persons tend to rarely update their very own statuses or perhaps post pictures, nevertheless, they spend a lot of the time checking their very own Facebook’s newsfeed (secretly). They have all the gossip, they really know what everyone is doing, but no person knows anything about them. They are like invisible ghosts spying on an effective community. The most shared feature of the “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook is all their profile photos: a photo of a car, almost certainly the car of their dreams.

The most common status bring up to date for the “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook can be “Facebook pulls! Am gonna deactivate shortly lol,  or that they sometimes act all hipster-ish, saying, “Facebook is too mainstream, I made to Tweets or Instagram.  But , in fact , all their secret devotion for Fb far is greater than the amount of photographs “annoying-Facebook-girl submissions in a day. As you can tell, 585 mil is not that much when you classify them in smaller groupings. So , what kind of Facebook-er will you be? Next time you are on Facebook or myspace (which is most probably everyday), try sitting down and identifying which usually category every single of your close friends fit in.

Better yet, why not perform a ingesting game? You have to drink a shot of tequila every time an “Annoying-Facebook-girl says “OMG!  in her comments. Should you be not inside the drinking scene, you can get super stoned and begin an in-depth comment conflict with a “Simon Cowell.  If some day your sexy and you observe an “attention-seeking-whore posting an image, why not keep a nice comment about her boobies (you actually will get set easily). Finally, comment on a great “I’m-too-cool-for-Facebook’s car-profile-picture, “Oh my gosh, is this your car? And/or you a transformer like in the movie?  it really pisses them away. Have fun!